"The Emoji Movie comes out later this summer; so, plan accordingly (lock your doors, set the alarms, and hug your family). Something that shouldn't exist finally does and we're all the lesser for it. The doomsday clock is ticking faster and faster while I sit here counting every spiteful second that goes by. Cheers!"
...was that it was going to be THIS bad.
I mean, oh my....
In all my years as a film fan, I cannot say for the life of me that I've seen a film this mainstream get this harsh a reception. Then again, I probably should've predicted it was going to get this savaged by critics because of the basic idea behind this movie. The best we can all hope for is that this thing flops finanially as much as it has critically. And, for the curious among you all, here are the some of the most entertaining reviews that I've seen so far.* So, grab some popcorn, stay home and get comfortable. Because I get the feeling we're going roasting this disaster for a long, LONG time.
*Before I go off to do something more meaningful with my life, I wanted to say that Matinee Everyday will not be reviewing this garbage. Why? Because that would mean I'd have to get up, go to my car, drive to the theater, look another grown adult in the eye saying "One adult for the Emoji Movie", shell out over ten well-earned dollar bills and sit down for 86 minutes to witness this catastrophic disgrace to the art of cinema. Frankly, I don't have the lack of inhibition or disrespect towards all of you to do that. I hope not giving this film money will teach Sony a lesson about hubris or something.
Farewell for now, mere mortals.
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