Hey everybody! In case you missed that update I made last weekend, I'm rebranding these little mini-review compilations under a different banner and a wackier rating system. With that out of the way, let's talk about some movies.
INHERENT VICE
A while back, I was talking to a friend about Shane Black’s The Nice Guys. I described it as basically The Long Goodbye crossed with Boogie Nights. Looking back on that, that description feels more apropos for this film than it did for that film. A leisurely stroll through the sleazy, sun-drenched haze of early-70s California with memorable characters and a good central mystery underlining all the madness. Also, Shasta Fay may be the most white-trash name ever and I love that so much.
[RATING: 4.5 out of 5]
LOVE, SIMON
I didn’t have any high or low expectations for this picture; but, coming out of it (pun not intended), I have to say that this was absolutely wonderful. Nick Robinson is a charming lead, it has an eclectic soundtrack, the feel/tone is comfortably naturalistic and there’s a sense of honesty to the film that other high school films lack. Even if you aren’t in the target audience, Love Simon is a likable little love story that hits close to home on a universal level and will probably end up being a personal favorite amongst a few peers of mine.
[RATING: 4 Edgy Teenage Misfits out of 5]
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017)
Ridiculous mustache and perplexing Imagine Dragons-scored trailers aside, this is a cracking good old-school murder mystery of the variety that flourished in classic Hollywood. The cast does stellar work (even if director/star Kenneth Branagh does get a little too much screen time), the camerawork here is extremely interesting and creative for a movie that takes place in such a tight location, the score is pretty good and it’s got a charming sense of wit that keeps the proceedings from being too dry. Definitely a pleasant surprise and I defy you to find a film this year that has a better final shot than this one.
[RATING 4 Double Mustaches out of 5]
THE TERMINAL MAN
The Terminal Man is like a 50s B-movie/Twilight Zone elevator pitch filtered the speculative lens of 70s science fiction. It’s got a cool poster, George Segal gives a decent performance, and that’s about it. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to put this on in a lazy afternoon; but, it feels like the kind of thing that should be playing in the background of a Joe Dante picture. Micheal Crichton’s original novel has to better than this, right?
[RATING: 2.5 Strange Mind-Control Devices out of 5]
SPRING BREAKERS
Can’t say I groove on this particular wavelength; but, after half a decade since it’s original release, it still works as a total time capsule of the moment it was made in. The sights, sounds and smells of the quintessential spring break experience distilled in Dadaist sensory overload. James Franco gives one of his best performances as Alien, one of independent cinema’s most memorable characters in ages. While I’m still bitter that I’m technically part of this generation, I can’t help but be fascinated by it. Joins the ranks of Trainspotting and Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas as sleaze epics that double as chemical flashbacks of their respective eras.
[RATING: 3 Tatooed James Francos out of 5]
NIGHT SHIFT
Urban hustle ‘n bustle juxtaposed against allegedly real-life hijinx. It’s interesting to see Henry Winkler play against type as a sad sack loser with zero confidence and young Michael Keaton is an absolute force of nature here. Plus, the fact that journeyman filmmaker extraordinaire Ron Howard cut his teeth on something this morbid and insane is hilarious on its own merits.
[RATING: 4 Obnoxious Boomboxes out of 5]
MOON
Aside of from being one of the most realistic science fiction films I’ve ever seen, Moon is a fantastic directorial debut from Duncan Jones. Sam Rockwell turns in one of his best performances. It’s visually stunning for a movie that only cost $5 million and tackles some heady themes that I can’t delve into too deeply for fear of spoilers. There’s a possibility that this may have been the genesis for the modern sci-fi renaissance as we know it.
[RATING: 4.5 out of 5]
HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN
Shameless grindhouse thrills, relentlessly reveling in its own and refusing to apologize for its filthy nature. Rutger Hauer looks like he’s having a ball, the action’s gory and over-the-top, it has a heavily-saturated color palette that’s both repulsive and appealing & it’s just a blast to watch. Flawed and a tad bit too tasteless in spots (there’s one moment involving a school bus that feels like the director saw the ice cream truck scene from Assault on Precinct 13 and said “Oh yeah?!? I can top that!”); but, I got a kick out of it. Random observation: two of the main bad guys look like what if Andy Samberg decided to start cosplaying as Baby Driver.
[RATING: 3 Rampaging Vigilantes out of 5]
MOM AND DAD
Imagine what if you crossed Home Alone and The Strangers with that one scene in Kingsman where literally everyone is trying to murder each other. The world would be a much better place if Nic Cage starred in more movies like this. Because, he looks he’s having more fun in this than he’s had in any other movie he’s been in recent years. Selma Blair’s also a blast to watch in this. It has an interesting soundtrack and it’s stitched together in exactly a manner you’d think a movie like this would be from one of the guys who made the Crank movies. At times, when it’s not being pedantic, Mom and Dad is a masterpiece of trash cinema.
[RATING: 3 Broken Billiards Tables out of 5]
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