AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR Spoiler-Free Review

NOTE: I had a lot of thoughts on this flick. So, I'm going to do a traditional review here and follow it up with a loose, spoiler-filled discussion some time not too long from now. Let's get crackin'.


I have a quick confession to make. Yesterday, I saw Infinity War at around noon and I've waited to start typing my review until the day after for a myriad of reasons. For starters, I've been burned on the Avengers films before. The first one is fine and I'll give it credit for it's importance in blockbuster history; however, I do feel like hailing it as some sort of masterpiece is silly. Age of Ultron ended up amplifying everything that worked and didn't work in it's predecessor, leading to a film that I still can't entirely say I'm for or against. Naturally, I wanted some time to ruminate on the film to give an honest opinion divorced from waves upon waves of hype. Then comes the challenge of finding a way to provide an articulate critique of the film without giving away the major surprises it has in store. Thankfully, I've been able to overcome both and can say that this film rocks!

Speaking of surprises, I was delighted to see that The Russo Brothers nailed it with this film. Sure, Winter Soldier was great; but, I'll still be in the minority of people who think that Civil War a complete letdown. Thankfully, they seemed to have made an anti-Civil War here. Instead of a soulless machine that ends up having zero consequences on the overall story and actively avoids taking risks, we get the exact opposite here. From the first ten minutes, they establish that there isn't a punch they're willing to pull. Anything that can happen pretty much does happen. I'd also like to give the Russos credit for doing a decent job of balancing the focus on the various players. The transitions back and forth between the Earthbound heroes and the more cosmic territories are admittedly a very impressive juggling act (even if it feels a little clunky at times). On the subject of subverting typical Marvel problems, composer extraordinaire Alan Silvestri returns with an appropriately epic score (a perfect sound to match such wondrous visions). Triumphant themes are used to their fullest potential and I was elated to see that a film with such a grim ending opted for the opposite of what we usually get with these movies. Instead of an end credits sequence with pounding melodies and tons of eye candy, we get slow, simple credits with a subdued, quiet rendition of the main themes (allowing an appropriate amount of breathing room from the epic tragedy that just wrapped up).

The cast isn't really worth discussing, seeing how familiar we are with all the major characters as well as the actors and how they each get enough time in the spotlight for maximum satisfaction. Besides, the big question on all of our minds is how well Josh Brolin does as Thanos. Rest assured, he's pretty great. Granted, his motivation from the comics has been heavily altered from the comics; but, I think the changes that were made were for the better and what's here fits better with the thematic core of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Anyone familiar with Watchmen (be it the original graphic novel or the film adaptation) is going to be picking up very familiar signals here with Thanos. Again, I really can't delve into that too much without spoiling things; but, suffice it to say, our antagonist gets enough pathos to make him more than some big purple guy with a dictator complex.



Ever since it came out back in 1980, The Empire Strikes Back has been the go-to comparison for darker, narrative-rich sequels and (in my humble opinion, at least) has been grotesquely misapplied. You've been hearing it from everyone else and I'll be no exception. Comparisons to Empire fit it like a glove. We all know there's a another chapter coming that'll probably serve as a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak; however, I say we should take a moment to appreciate the grand-scale tragedy that's unfolding into multiplexes on the unsuspecting masses. Sure, it's still a great time at the movies and has a few moments to make audiences chuckle; but, that doesn't detract from stakes that feel genuine and emotional beats that are well-earned. Overall, I'd say that Infinity War and it's upcoming sequel are probably going to be the superhero genre's equivalent to the Kill Bill saga (in that part one is almost pure action and part two slows down for richer character/narrative beats). If that ends up being the case, the wait until next summer is going to be absolute torture because what we have here may be the comic book movie to end all comic book movies. How they'll follow this up is anyone's guess.

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR gets a...
CATACLYSMIC AWESOMENESS out of TEN

Review Round-Up #2

Before we continue, I'd like to acknowledge and the death of legendary journeyman filmmaker Milos Forman (the man who made classics such as Amadeus and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest). He was an important artistic voice and it felt inappropriate to say nothing about losing him. May he rest in peace. Anyway, on with the show...

A QUIET PLACE

A Quiet Place earns a snug spot alongside 10 Cloverfield Lane when it comes to great cinematic bottle episodes. Even if it's only his second feature as a director, Krasinski comes out swinging like a champ both in front of and behind the camera. At times, the pacing is inconsistent and the jump scares are hit-and-miss. Aside from making the case for how a PG-13 rating doesn't indicate a horror film's quality, it wrings some genuinely nerve-wracking moments with it's intelligent use of sound and is definitely worth seeing in a crowded theater.
[RATING: 4 Malfunctioning Hearing Aids out of 5]

EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!!

Entertaining humanization of dudebro characters some would argue aren’t worth the effort to humanize. The young cast is incredibly charming (one of the guys is a dead ringer for a young Laurence Fishburne) and it’s lackadaisical, carefree vibes are hard to resist. Still debating whether or not I’d say this is better than Dazed and Confused; but, it’s definitely a worthy successor to that picture rather a pale imitation in a new coat of paint.
[RATING: 4 Beer Kegs out of 5]

THE DARK TOWER

What should have been a sprawling epic with every resource available put behind it (a la HBO's Game of Thrones) has been butchered and mangled into a 90-minute cluster of mediocrity. It’s not without a few positives. Some of the out-there concepts from Stephen King’s novels haven’t been lost in translation, the action sequences are fairly well done, and Idris Elba works as Roland (even if making his character arc second to Jake is bizarrely miscalculated). Still, a lot of those positives are undone by editing via meat cleaver, thinly sketched imitations of the rich characters from the novel and a miscast Matthew McConaughey who jerks back and forth from stilted to puzzlingly unnatural. By no means is it a disaster; but, it sure is a disappointment. One that quickly extinguishes its few flashes of potential.
[RATING: 2.5 Awesome Gunplay Scenes out of 5]

CAT PEOPLE (1942)

Perhaps the strongest example of atmospheric filmmaking from the Golden Age of horror cinema that didn’t have the names James Whale or Tod Browning attached to them. The black-and-white cinematography is immaculate and it has a lot more on its mind than some of it’s contemporaries did. If you’re interested in checking out classic cinema outside of the icons everybody is well aware of, this would be a good place to start.
[RATING: 3.5 Creepy Alleyways out of 5]

POINT BLANK

Crime cinema boiled down to its basic elements before Walter Hill perfected the art come the turn of the next decade. A high point in filmic storytelling of the 1960s and one of the all-time great tough guy movies. There isn’t a moment wasted and even the more laidback moments have their charm. Lee Marvin is at peak badassery here, taking names from scum bags and looking cool while doing it. It all looks like a million bucks and it has the cocksure, masculine swagger only a John Boorman picture can offer.
[RATING: 4 Angry Lee Marvins out of 5]

FRIDAY THE 13th (1980)

Early 80s slasher fare is proof that influence on a genre doesn’t equate to what can genuinely be called a “classic”. It does have a tendency to wander off on boring tangents when nothing is on its mind (which is admittedly pretty often) and the screenplay feels like it was scribbled onto a cocktail napkin. A few moments here & there provide atmospheric scares, Tom Savini’s gore effects are as awesome as usual, and Betsy Palmer does really well as the movie’s secret weapon. Certainly not the best picture in the franchise; but, a decent foot to start out on. Also, Kevin Bacon's in this flick. So, that’s a plus.
[RATING: 3 Dead Kevin Bacons out of 5]

DAVE MADE A MAZE

A strange creature whose quirky, handcrafted charms more than make up for its amateurish faults. The style and atmosphere is completely unique (the cardboard aesthetic makes the proceedings look recognizably cheap and delightfully off-kilter). Usually, this phrase is used as an insult; but, in this case, I use it as high praise. Dave Made A Maze feels like a teenage fan-film and I mean that as a compliment. It’s all made with the youthful energy of something you might’ve shot in your basement with a few buddies at the age of 15. Honestly, I can’t think of a single moment during this where I didn’t have a pleasant little smile on my face.
[RATING: 4 Giant Cardboard Forts out of 5]

Review Round-Up #1

Hey everybody! In case you missed that update I made last weekend, I'm rebranding these little mini-review compilations under a different banner and a wackier rating system. With that out of the way, let's talk about some movies.

INHERENT VICE

A while back, I was talking to a friend about Shane Black’s The Nice Guys. I described it as basically The Long Goodbye crossed with Boogie Nights. Looking back on that, that description feels more apropos for this film than it did for that film. A leisurely stroll through the sleazy, sun-drenched haze of early-70s California with memorable characters and a good central mystery underlining all the madness. Also, Shasta Fay may be the most white-trash name ever and I love that so much.
[RATING: 4.5 out of 5]

LOVE, SIMON

I didn’t have any high or low expectations for this picture; but, coming out of it (pun not intended), I have to say that this was absolutely wonderful. Nick Robinson is a charming lead, it has an eclectic soundtrack, the feel/tone is comfortably naturalistic and there’s a sense of honesty to the film that other high school films lack. Even if you aren’t in the target audience, Love Simon is a likable little love story that hits close to home on a universal level and will probably end up being a personal favorite amongst a few peers of mine.
[RATING: 4 Edgy Teenage Misfits out of 5]

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017)

Ridiculous mustache and perplexing Imagine Dragons-scored trailers aside, this is a cracking good old-school murder mystery of the variety that flourished in classic Hollywood. The cast does stellar work (even if director/star Kenneth Branagh does get a little too much screen time), the camerawork here is extremely interesting and creative for a movie that takes place in such a tight location, the score is pretty good and it’s got a charming sense of wit that keeps the proceedings from being too dry. Definitely a pleasant surprise and I defy you to find a film this year that has a better final shot than this one.
[RATING 4 Double Mustaches out of 5]

THE TERMINAL MAN

The Terminal Man is like a 50s B-movie/Twilight Zone elevator pitch filtered the speculative lens of 70s science fiction. It’s got a cool poster, George Segal gives a decent performance, and that’s about it. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to put this on in a lazy afternoon; but, it feels like the kind of thing that should be playing in the background of a Joe Dante picture. Micheal Crichton’s original novel has to better than this, right?
[RATING: 2.5 Strange Mind-Control Devices out of 5]

SPRING BREAKERS

Can’t say I groove on this particular wavelength; but, after half a decade since it’s original release, it still works as a total time capsule of the moment it was made in. The sights, sounds and smells of the quintessential spring break experience distilled in Dadaist sensory overload. James Franco gives one of his best performances as Alien, one of independent cinema’s most memorable characters in ages. While I’m still bitter that I’m technically part of this generation, I can’t help but be fascinated by it. Joins the ranks of Trainspotting and Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas as sleaze epics that double as chemical flashbacks of their respective eras.
[RATING: 3 Tatooed James Francos out of 5]

NIGHT SHIFT

Urban hustle ‘n bustle juxtaposed against allegedly real-life hijinx. It’s interesting to see Henry Winkler play against type as a sad sack loser with zero confidence and young Michael Keaton is an absolute force of nature here. Plus, the fact that journeyman filmmaker extraordinaire Ron Howard cut his teeth on something this morbid and insane is hilarious on its own merits.
[RATING: 4 Obnoxious Boomboxes out of 5]

MOON

Aside of from being one of the most realistic science fiction films I’ve ever seen, Moon is a fantastic directorial debut from Duncan Jones. Sam Rockwell turns in one of his best performances. It’s visually stunning for a movie that only cost $5 million and tackles some heady themes that I can’t delve into too deeply for fear of spoilers. There’s a possibility that this may have been the genesis for the modern sci-fi renaissance as we know it.
[RATING: 4.5 out of 5]

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN

Shameless grindhouse thrills, relentlessly reveling in its own and refusing to apologize for its filthy nature. Rutger Hauer looks like he’s having a ball, the action’s gory and over-the-top, it has a heavily-saturated color palette that’s both repulsive and appealing & it’s just a blast to watch. Flawed and a tad bit too tasteless in spots (there’s one moment involving a school bus that feels like the director saw the ice cream truck scene from Assault on Precinct 13 and said “Oh yeah?!? I can top that!”); but, I got a kick out of it. Random observation: two of the main bad guys look like what if Andy Samberg decided to start cosplaying as Baby Driver.
[RATING: 3 Rampaging Vigilantes out of 5]

MOM AND DAD

Imagine what if you crossed Home Alone and The Strangers with that one scene in Kingsman where literally everyone is trying to murder each other. The world would be a much better place if Nic Cage starred in more movies like this. Because, he looks he’s having more fun in this than he’s had in any other movie he’s been in recent years. Selma Blair’s also a blast to watch in this. It has an interesting soundtrack and it’s stitched together in exactly a manner you’d think a movie like this would be from one of the guys who made the Crank movies. At times, when it’s not being pedantic, Mom and Dad is a masterpiece of trash cinema.
[RATING: 3 Broken Billiards Tables out of 5]